What To Do When a Bigfoot is Stalking You?

Let me clarify. The Bigfoot I’m referring to is a character in my latest novel. But my lips are strategically zipped to prevent spoilers from dribbling out. I’m not even telling you his name.

I will give you some well-informed, important life and death tips in case you have an actual run-in with a real, live Bigfoot, though. These particular Bigfoot are shape shifters and live among us. By the way, the plural of Bigfoot is Bigfoot. Like deer is deer. Anyway, almost all of them tend to be friendly and they take precautions to keep their existence hidden. I know – sounds familiar, but, hey, that’s the way it is with these supernatural beings!

Problems pop up when you get a rotten egg in the bunch. And that happens with all species. Not everyone is perfect in both body and mind. The average individual handles the issues they are dealt in a rational, healthy way, using all kinds of resources to help them. Or, maybe they struggle with their problems, barely surviving day to day. Doing what they can to place one foot in front of the other.

But Chelsie Valdar (in “Rocked: A Chelsie Valdar Saga, 1“) caught the attention of one seriously deranged, power-hungry Bigfoot and he’s up to no good. He’s stalking Chelsie. He isn’t just having a headache or feeling depressed or stressed out. He didn’t break his arm and he wasn’t born with a physical handicap. (In fact, in human form, he’s actually cute!) Have I mentioned he’s deranged? Evil? Deadly? And is fighting for his survival? But he’s got a thing for Chelsie…ahhh…what to do? what to do! Oh, and in one week the Apocalypse hits big time. Life is rough. And you need to read my story to find out the rest…

Where was I? Oh, so just in case you do happen to meet a Bigfoot who’s gone bonkers and is stalking you…

10 Tips To Remember If A Crazy Bigfoot Is Stalking You:

1) Bigfoot are shape shifters. He can look like a hunky human dude and *kapow!* transform into a 9 foot tall, 600 pound beast!

2)  Perhaps you could RUN!! But chances are, he’ll easily catch you. Don’t downplay his size because he’s super fast.

3) Maybe you could HIDE…but he’ll likely sniff you out with his heightened senses and rip apart your hiding place and snatch you.

4) If you’re caught in his grasp, it’s best not to fight him. He could crush you instantly. And depending on his state of mind, if he’s infatuated with you, he probably doesn’t want to hurt you. But, he might forget his own strength and squish you to smithereens unintentionally. A docile, well-adjusted Bigfoot is aware of his power over humans, knows his limits and can keep from harming them. One who is batshit crazy and loses touch with reality then you will be hurt or killed.

5) Speaking of his mind, he can read your thoughts. Well, do I even need to say that planning your next several moves are useless? If he’s totally in tune with you, then he’s one step ahead, sweetie. Spur of the moment actions are your best chance.

6) He loves food. Use that as a distraction. Meat works well.

7) If he transforms back into his human self, he’s nearly as dangerous as his beastly shape. He’s not as gigantic or hairy or hideous, but all his thoughts and emotions stay the same in either form. NOTE: He is more vulnerable in human form…that means, easier to kill. Bigfoot are not immortal.

8) He is able to transform at will. Any time, any day, any where. No full moon, no special brew, no temper tantrum, no nightfall trigger, no nothing needed to turn all beastly.

9) He really likes forests and caves and cooler weather. Chances are high he’d think twice about stalking you  all the way to a highly populated city with average daily temps above 80 degrees. Think the Bahamas. Yeah, I understand…moving kinda sucks. The boxes and packing and finding a new hairdresser…so, that might not be an option.

10) Appealing to his ego works wonders. Make him believe you like him…you know, that reverse psychology stuff? Then call that TV show on the Animal Planet that hunts Bigfoot and tell them you’ve found what they are looking for. Of course, you’ll need to somehow NOT let your Bigfoot stalker read your mind as you contact the hunters. (And there are ways to block mind reading. That is for another blog!)

Good luck! You’ll need it.

That is all!

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